Don’t believe there is one true love or there are a million fish in the sea.
It is only with great trepidation that I broach this subject. I know there will be people who disagree with me on this, but hear my argument. When it comes to love and commitment, I see two mistakes made over and over. The first is the belief that there is only one right person out there. I’ve read that the notion of ideal love started during medieval times when monogamy was virtually unheard of. The myth, if you will, of perfect love evolved out of dire necessity—no one was faithful to anyone and it was a mess.
Like all myths, there is some truth to the sentiment of one true love. However, it’s when people believe this completely that they get hurt. Why? Because your belief that this is the only person in the entire world that can meet your needs has you hemmed in. What if this person starts to take you for granted? What if they become abusive, first verbally then physically? If you believe that they are the only one for you, then you will put up with that nonsense way longer than you should. Sadly enough, many people put up with it forever, clinging to the fairy tale all the while.
The converse of this myth is also misleading: There are a million fish in the sea. Anybody who has been single for more than a month knows this isn’t true (not even remotely true from my memory). Given all the foibles and eccentricities of people, how could it be possible that there would be a large number of possible mates lurking around every corner?
So if we look at these two statements together, what we’re left with is this: It is very hard to find someone you’re compatible with, but it’s not impossible. Don’t stay with someone just because you think there won’t be anyone to take their place; there always will be if you look hard enough.
