Go Right and You'll Never Go Wrong

Don’t run from fear.

This is one of the truisms that I’ve struggled with personally. I’ve also seen it manifested in my patients so many times as to be patently obvious, but alas, humanity can be weak. I can be weak. What I’m talking about is avoiding something you are afraid of rather than addressing it head on. What happens when you avoid a fear is that it grows in power, getting bigger and bigger until it is a dinosaur-sized fear that is extraordinarily intimidating. Now had we attacked this fear earlier, when we first realized it was there, it would have only been a hatchling. But a dinosaur, that’s a different thing altogether.

And here is another point, and I swear this is one of the most profound things I have learned in psychiatry. Life is always trying to teach us what we need to learn. If we don’t learn the lesson the first time around, life is going to bring that lesson back to us, but this time it’s going to be a harder lesson. If we keep avoiding this particular lesson, life is going to beat us over the head with it.

So here’s the thing: You can’t run. I’ll use myself as an example. I’ve always been shy and my particular fear is public speaking. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to overcome this fear, but for the most part, I’ve backed away quietly, hoping not to be noticed. Now I’m at a point in my life where every career path I’m interested in requires at least some degree of public speaking. I’m faced with shortcutting my dreams or fighting my dinosaur. Since I refuse to give up on my dreams, I have a date to rumble with a tyrannosaurus.

Remember, any fear you have, big or small, is life trying to teach you something. If you run from that fear, life is going to bring it back to you meaner and nastier than ever. Face your fears early, and face them often, and by a relatively young age, you’ll be far ahead of the crowd.