Don’t use the word “should”.
Of all the words in our wonderful language, I like this one the least. What a loaded word. When you use the word “should”, what someone hears is: “I know more than you do about this subject, and you would be smart to listen to me.” Now seriously, even if the above is true, is this something you ever want to hear. “Should” is one of those words that implies superiority and no one wants to feel inferior. It’s really that simple.
There are times and places where you may need to use “should”, and it’s always going to be in a situation where you are truly the power figure. Bosses and parents come to mind here. But even in situations where you are in power, there are other phrases that might work better: “You might consider this”, or “Here are some other ways of doing that”.
The worst abuse of the word “should”, however, comes at our own expense. “I should work out more.” “I should eat better.” “I should be nicer to other people.” Why not just say, “I will work out more.” “I will eat better.” “I will be nicer to other people.”
The word “should” somehow creates a degree of separation between us and what needs to be done. If you’re going to do something, do it. If you’re going to correct someone, correct them. “Should” manages to be perfunctory and judgmental all at the same time. Please, avoid this word. Your friends and family will thank you for it.
